Sex and The City: Meditation Simplification

I recently returned from a trip home to Austin after a brief stint visiting in-laws in Ohio, and I am alone. Literally, I am alone in my new home while my partner and children reside with mother Mitzi and father Norm for the remainder of the month. The house is quiet and still, with the exception of my three cats. This time here and now is a gift. Over the phone, Jason asked me last night, so “What are you going to do?” and though I had a general idea of rest and relaxation equivalent to sleeping in and binging Netflix, this morning I had the epiphany in my spontaneous attempt to meditate on the ragged rug before the fireplace, that I must “Sit with God everyday”. The words, the voice, repeated itself over and over “Sit with God everyday”, pushing aside the fleeting to do tasks that surface in silence.

I’ve been, for many years now— in fact, decades, living with intention to meditate daily, but the task is daunting, isn’t it? I know I am not alone in this since many of us seek ease and clarity in life; so many self help books and guides insist upon this daily practice and essentially swear by its results of peace of mind. Who doesn’t want peace of mind in this torrential world? And it dawned on me, that I’ve been overcomplicating this feat. I’ve been making it a feat, “ a deed notable esp. of courage” so defined by my Websters’ English dictionary, as if I am to embark on ascending Mount Everest. When truly, it is the present moment that I can enter with ease, I can sit with God like I can sit with a friend. I can take 5min of stillness and meet myself there.

“I have all that I need”

I have all that I need to live a fulfilling and joyful life, yet 2025 has proven to be a challenging year thus far. I was in my stride at the turn of the year. I had been routinely attending ballet and pilates classes, in fact 3-4 times weekly, feeling very active and alive! It was exciting to return to dance, a passion that I had abandoned for a career in nursing. I was feeling so good, that I decided to stop my antidepressants, confident that my active life was medicine enough to keep my spirits lifted and mind clear. But then my body started to break down. At first, I thought I was overdoing the dance and pushing myself too hard physically. I took a step back, taking only barre and leaving before center, attended less classes, and eventually stopped going entirely. When I noticed my hands were swollen upon awakening in the morning, I knew something else was wrong. This wasn’t just a case of overused joints and pulled muscles. At its worst, I could barely arise from bed, feared falling down the stairs, and lacked the strength to grip a toothbrush. Body. Mind. Spirit. I came apart in that order.

I am picking up the pieces, and I will not let this disease get the best of me! I intend to “sit with God everyday” and I know there is good to come of this. Proverbs 3:5-6, my favorite Bible verse has always been of comfort, and I lean on this trust more than ever. Just as daily meditation became too much of a trepidatious excursion to embark on, so had this blog, and I know I must simplify my expectations. I love to write and that was the whole point of creating Yoga Dish from the beginning, and yet I haven’t written here in years! If I were to reshape my approach I think my work here will be more enjoyable and of value to all, me, myself and you! I would like to write here more regularly, like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and The City, one show I did binge on Netflix during my down days.

Publishing this today is a way to hold myself accountable. Thank you for reading and I hope you are able to experience peace, love, and happiness on your journey. May every moment be fresh! Namaste

2023 and the new me in the middle, I hope. Forty-one and a half years old. ⛰Over the hill and lovin' it.

Hello again! It’s been a while. What can I say? Chipping away at it one moment a day, one day at a time, and time is relative. Today, I’ve been getting lost in The Smiths and feeling inspired and exited for what’s ahead. I work Tuesday through Friday now, ten-hour days getting to meet people to inspire hope and purpose.


As an Advanced Nurse Practitioner, I’ve been working for Texas’ Travis’ County’s Local Mental Health Authority, Integral Care. That’s a lot of possessives, but basically I work for the people in Central Texas. I work for the occasionally, existentially confused, psychotic mess of us, and I’m not ashamed to say, I’m one of us. Are you?

“ Who is wise? One who Learns from All”

The Talmud

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month.💚 There’s a Month, a Day, a time to celebrate and acknowledge the essence of our humanity. Keep the celebration going. Keep saying out loud those things that keep you up at night. Keep sharing and caring. Keep at it, one day at a time because you are inspiring. You have a right to be here, just by the nature of your breath.

Breathe and rejoice. May every moment be fresh!

Namaste. 🙏




Nix the Nexus-6 and Panpsychism

Owls are extinct in the post-apocalyptic world of Philip K Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sleep?

Owls are extinct in the post-apocalyptic world of Philip K Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sleep?

You guys. 🙌 I feel like I hit the nail on the head with my thesis, “Nix the Nexus-6, Killer Androids on the Loose”. In my Religious Studies class, Bioethics, Medicine & Culture, we were assigned to respond to Philip K Dick’s sci-fi novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and defend whether or not the protagonist bounty hunter was justified in killing androids. I was not familiar with Dick’s work prior to this assignment.

My professor was pleased with my paper, I made a 100 😁! However, he said he couldn’t agree with the idea of natural law as self. Initially, I felt somewhat rejected. I felt perhaps I had not conveyed my understanding of Dick’s intent, but after reading Frank Bertrand’s interview from 1980 (Dick died in 1982 at the age of 53), I feel as if Dick and I were on the same wavelength.

“Like the early Greeks I am a believer in panpsychism. Of all the metaphysical systems in philosophy I feel the greatest affinity for that of Spinoza, with his dictum, "Deus sive substantia sive natura;" to me this sums up everything (Viz: "God i.e. reality i.e. nature.")”

Philip K. Dick

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I’m excited to share my thesis with you here. If you are at all interested in the concepts of morality, ethics, and religion, then I believe you will enjoy it. But, be warned!! I give away the plot entirely. If you’re into sci-fi, it’s a definite must read! I sent my dad my thesis, and he thinks that I write “pretty well” so that must say something 🤣. (That’s me laughing [and crying😭] at any hint of need for approval from my father, oy vey!). Now on to the next philosophical venture, Chance & Necessity by Jacques Monad, recommended to me by my dad. Let’s see what mind-blowing concepts I encounter!

May every moment be fresh! Namaste y’all

💜🌺☀️

Summer School 2021

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What’s up y’all. I’m just gonna write freely here about where I’m at now. Can you believe? I got the courage to go back to graduate school. I’m currently at the University of Texas at Austin. I got into their Family Nurse Practitioner program!! Yeah, I’m thrilled! I have been a critical care nurse for over ten years now, and it has taken its toll on me. I’ve been ready for change and it’s happening! I will graduate in the Spring of 2022. I can’t wait to be more engaged with my community in a clinic setting.

Fall Semester was really rough. I had been working full time the summer prior taking care of covid patients in the ICU. While I was adapting to the demand of full time graduate school, I was also responsible for homeschooling my 7 year-old. He has ADD/ADHD. Between the two of us, my attempts to guide his online education broke down into fits of stern commands, defiance, yelling and tears. Ultimately, I would attend my online zoom courses and complete my assignments, while he watched YouTube videos. I had a lot of guilt. The guilt spiraled into depression, and by Christmas break I wanted to kill myself. Really. Seriously, slit my wrists in a bathtub to make cleaning up my body more convenient for whoever should find me. This may sound overdramatic, however I know that I am susceptible to succumb to the pull of depression. Because I was so busy with school, I wasn’t taking time out to practice yoga, meditate, or read the books that normally provide me comfort.

Christmas 2020: Looks can be deceiving.

Christmas 2020: Looks can be deceiving.

I did confide in the university’s counselor. I did talk to my mother. I did confide in my primary care physician. These are all things that I had never done before. I never leaned on support and I always tried to overcome depression on my own. With their support, I decided, for the first time ever, to commit to a prescribed medicinal treatment that now consists of both Welbutrin and Lexapro. I have long hesitated to take medications for depression because of the stigma around it. Relying on medications meant that I was incapable of achieving peace on my own, it meant, as a yoga practitioner, that I was a failure. “I am a failure. I can’t get my shit together. I’m irrational and selfish.” These are thoughts that circulated that compounded my shame. These are thoughts that are JUST PLAIN WRONG.

I’m not a failure, and I can get my shit together, and a part of that entails taking medications to stabilize my mood. Since January, when I started taking anti-depressants, I’ve been more level-headed, focused, positive and content. I’m not someone else, I am more authentically the best version of me, without all the bull-crap dwelling thoughts of self-deprecation. Why did I wait so long?! Stigma?

I can happily say that I am at a really good place right now. I’ve been enjoying school. I’m currently in a bioethics class and a health policy class. I’m learning so much about how I can best contribute my skill to society. I want to add a journal entry here, from January 11, 2018. It’s at a time when I knew I needed change, but I wasn’t sure of what kind. In it, is a poem that I’m really proud of (not the first sex poem, haha). I hope you enjoy it!

January 11, 2018

Ear to heart

Set to restart

Against the warmth of your skin

Your curves I trace with

my palm

Rekindle love, Begin again.

We had sex last night for the first time in months. I had forgotten how comforting it is to lie skin to skin with a man I love and with a man who loves me. Yes, “I am worthy of being loved.” Anahata affirmation: “I am worthy of being loved”

I’m not going to take that desk job, should they ever call and offer it. Soon, I’ll have several days to myself to write and read to think. Nothing is more valuable a pass time than that. I’ve been frustrated with the mess of things around the house, the garage—so much crap, so much to not keep track of. Soon enough, both kids will be in school and I’ll have plenty of time to get organized. Once I’m organized I can get working for me, for God’s purpose—not that raising children isn’t a part of that, but in a way that provides for society. Community. Serving myself is serving community—one cannot neglect one’s own sense of self and succeed in the service of others.

Windy Day

Sweep the cobwebs away

Cool breeze kissing flesh

Blow leaves, not a mess

to today’s eye on the street

Solid rhythm, my feet

march on pavement, one

two, onward solider

in life

knocked down by capital culture

we strive day by day to catch up

On new day, windy winter day

heart pounding hard now

as if to say

“I AM ALIVE” oh, world.

I am alive.

Neuroscience with Dr. Richard Davidson

“What we practice, we become.  We can change our brains through our behavior.”

~Krista Tippet~

This past February, I had the pleasure of discovering the work of neuroscientist Dr. Richard Davidson from an interview with Krista Tippet who hosts my favorite podcast On Being.  At the onset of their discussion, Krista acknowledges Dr. Davidson’s contributions to the discovery of Neuroplasticity as she affirms, “What we practice, we become.  We can change our brains through our behavior.”  The episode is titled, “Richard Davidson, A Neuroscientist on Love and Learning”.  You can listen to or download the transcript at onbeing.org.  I was so intrigued by their conversation that I promptly checked out the book he co-authored, The Emotional Life of Your Brain, How Its Unique Patterns Affect the Way You Think, Feel and Live—and How You Can Change Them.

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What was it about this conversation that captured my curiosity so profoundly?  Listening back to that interview months later, I reflect on the struggles my 5 year-old son Teddy has encountered while adjusting to kindergarten.  The first few fall months were especially challenging, as I was receiving multiple calls from the principal’s office concerning his aggressive behavior.  My sweet Teddy had stabbed a classmate with a pencil, pushed a child from the top of a slide, and put hand sanitizer in another’s eye.  Additional calls from his teacher seemed so condemning of my parenting, as she sought advise on how to guide his disruptive behavior while informing me of his falling behind in reading and writing.  After formally meeting with the school counselor, principal, speech therapist, and classroom teacher we agreed the Licensed Specialist in School Psychology (LSSP) would perform an extensive evaluation to screen Teddy for Emotional Disturbance, Learning Disability, Dyslexia, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD).  This process spanned the months of January and February.  By the end of March, the LSSP concluded Teddy showed clear signs of AD/HD.  

Making wishes =)

Making wishes =)

Do I medicate my 5 year-old?  This is one of the first questions that surfaced post evaluation results.  As Dr. Davidson states and my son shows, a child that cannot attend will have difficulty learning.  What fascinated me the most from this interview, was the connection Dr. Davidson makes between social emotional learning and cognitive abilities. “Thought and feeling are absolutely intermingled in the brain” he informs us.  His words compelled me to think beyond Teddy’s mastery of 123’s and abc’s and to consider how his schooling has provided for his social and emotional development.  I do believe there is a void in social and emotional education in our public schools.  Fortunately, Dr. Davidson is founder of the Kindness Curriculum, a free program for educators, teaching young children the skills of mindfulness and self-regulation.  His research shows that children who completed this curriculum performed better academically. https://centerhealthyminds.org/news/kindness-curriculum-boosts-school-success-in-preschoolers

While his interview with Krista introduced me to his work with respect to children, The Emotional Life of Your Brain provided a more intimate study of self awareness and regulation.  In this book, he tells us how he came about his discovery of the brain’s six Emotional Styles in his efforts to solve, “Why and how do people differ so widely in their emotional response to the ups and downs of life?” He details the composition of 1)Resilience 2)Outlook 3)Social Intuition 4)Self-Awareness  5)Sensitivity to Context and 6)Attention.

“Emotional Style is the result of brain circuitry that is laid down in our early years by the genes we inherited from our parents and by the experiences we have.  But that circuitry is not forever fixed.  Although Emotional Style is ordinarily quite stable over time, it can be altered by serendipitous experiences as well as by conscious, intentional effort at any point in life, through the intentional cultivation of specific mental qualities or habits…through mental training you can alter your patterns of brain activity and the very structure of your brain in a way that will change your Emotional Style and improve your life.”

His work is empowering evidence that we can better our lives by incorporating a steady mindfulness based practice, whether it’s seated meditation or going for a walk.  He poignantly tells us, “Mindfulness is remembering to embody kindness and compassion into every moment”.  He states that the best practice you do is the one you do.  As the Nike slogan goes,  it’s so important to “Just do it.”  “Our minds are just as important as our teeth,” he tells Krista, suggesting this practice is one we should make time to do everyday, whether it’s 2 minutes or 60 minutes.  This mental hygiene is what he considers an “urgent public health need.”  Just as we have a propensity for language, so we have the capability of mastering kindness and compassion.  He references the discovery of unfortunate feral children with no mastery of language to compare our potential mastery of compassion, “We come into the world with this innate propensity, but for this propensity to be expressed, it requires nurturing.”  

 “The brain is neither immutable nor static but continuously remodeled by the lives we lead.”

~Richard Davidson~

Dr. Richard Davidson is a Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.  He is a Harvard Ph.D graduate,  who’s research is changing the way we understand the brain.  He writes, “Emotion works with cognition in an integrated and seamless way to enable us to navigate the world of relationships, work, and spiritual growth…There is no clear, distinct dividing line between emotion and other mental processes; they blur into each other.  As a result, virtually all brain regions play a role in or are affected by emotion, even down to the visual and auditory cortices.”  Krista observes with him later in the interview the “systems in our brain that support wellbeing are connected to different organs in our body and to our immune and endocrine systems”.  They discuss the nature of an “Embodied practice,” being familiar with how kindness and gratitude feel in our bodies in order to reinstate them. 

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Upon meeting with the Dalai Lama in 1992, Dr, Davidson made a commitment to study the effect of virtuous qualities like kindness and compassion on the brain and overall health. His work led to him to establish the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin-Madison where research aims to cultivate well-being and relieve suffering through a scientific understanding of the mind.  You can find out more about Dr. Davidson’s ongoing research at https://centerhealthyminds.org. or follow @healthy.minds on Instagram.  

If you’re in the mood for a film, Dr. Richard Davidson is featured in the 2011 documentary Happy by Roko Belic.  Check out its trailer here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcMQmuvzPmI

Follow @onbeing and checkout onbeing.org for more enticing explorations on the art of living.  

“Pursuing deep thinking and social courage, moral imagination and joy, to renew inner life, outer life, and life together.”  

~The OnBeing Project~



May every moment be fresh!