I recently returned from a trip home to Austin after a brief stint visiting in-laws in Ohio, and I am alone. Literally, I am alone in my new home while my partner and children reside with mother Mitzi and father Norm for the remainder of the month. The house is quiet and still, with the exception of my three cats. This time here and now is a gift. Over the phone, Jason asked me last night, so “What are you going to do?” and though I had a general idea of rest and relaxation equivalent to sleeping in and binging Netflix, this morning I had the epiphany in my spontaneous attempt to meditate on the ragged rug before the fireplace, that I must “Sit with God everyday”. The words, the voice, repeated itself over and over “Sit with God everyday”, pushing aside the fleeting to do tasks that surface in silence.
I’ve been, for many years now— in fact, decades, living with intention to meditate daily, but the task is daunting, isn’t it? I know I am not alone in this since many of us seek ease and clarity in life; so many self help books and guides insist upon this daily practice and essentially swear by its results of peace of mind. Who doesn’t want peace of mind in this torrential world? And it dawned on me, that I’ve been overcomplicating this feat. I’ve been making it a feat, “ a deed notable esp. of courage” so defined by my Websters’ English dictionary, as if I am to embark on ascending Mount Everest. When truly, it is the present moment that I can enter with ease, I can sit with God like I can sit with a friend. I can take 5min of stillness and meet myself there.
“I have all that I need”
I have all that I need to live a fulfilling and joyful life, yet 2025 has proven to be a challenging year thus far. I was in my stride at the turn of the year. I had been routinely attending ballet and pilates classes, in fact 3-4 times weekly, feeling very active and alive! It was exciting to return to dance, a passion that I had abandoned for a career in nursing. I was feeling so good, that I decided to stop my antidepressants, confident that my active life was medicine enough to keep my spirits lifted and mind clear. But then my body started to break down. At first, I thought I was overdoing the dance and pushing myself too hard physically. I took a step back, taking only barre and leaving before center, attended less classes, and eventually stopped going entirely. When I noticed my hands were swollen upon awakening in the morning, I knew something else was wrong. This wasn’t just a case of overused joints and pulled muscles. At its worst, I could barely arise from bed, feared falling down the stairs, and lacked the strength to grip a toothbrush. Body. Mind. Spirit. I came apart in that order.
I am picking up the pieces, and I will not let this disease get the best of me! I intend to “sit with God everyday” and I know there is good to come of this. Proverbs 3:5-6, my favorite Bible verse has always been of comfort, and I lean on this trust more than ever. Just as daily meditation became too much of a trepidatious excursion to embark on, so had this blog, and I know I must simplify my expectations. I love to write and that was the whole point of creating Yoga Dish from the beginning, and yet I haven’t written here in years! If I were to reshape my approach I think my work here will be more enjoyable and of value to all, me, myself and you! I would like to write here more regularly, like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and The City, one show I did binge on Netflix during my down days.
Publishing this today is a way to hold myself accountable. Thank you for reading and I hope you are able to experience peace, love, and happiness on your journey. May every moment be fresh! Namaste